randomness

[Anonymous]

Worst First Date Story

    If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when
    you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or
    not!!!

    We have all had bad dates.. but this takes the cake. This just tells you
    how tough it is to be single nowadays. This was on the "Tonight Show" with
    Jay Leno. Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first
    date that a woman ever had. The winner described
    her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as
    to why her tale took the prize!

    She said it was midwinter... snowing and quite cold... and the guy had
    taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a
    day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had
    never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they
    were headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the
    mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had
    that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest
    room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold
    it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and
    slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop
    and let her pee beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.

    They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants
    down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let
    her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion
    stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real
    gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the
    relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.

    Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she
    bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were
    firmly glued against the car's fender.

    Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles immediately came to mind
    as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was
    quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.
    Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she
    answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply
    that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and in need of some
    assistance!"

    He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and
    then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She
    too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves,
    they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was,
    they also were faced with a real problem Both agreed it would take
    something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!
    Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place,
    both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as
    she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants
    and pee her butt off the fender.

    As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands
    down... or perhaps that should be "pants down." ..And you thought your
    first date was embarrassing.

    Jay Leno's comment .. "This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off."

[Anonymous]

Classic.

[Fuse]

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[Anonymous]

heh, that's good times. It can get kinda cold here in ut in the winter, I remember when I was 11 my friends dared me to stick my tongue to a pole in the middle of a snowstorm for $20.  I did it, and it took me 15 minutes to get it back off, with my tongue stinging all day long. it was a good $20. and 20 made you the richest kid at 11, that was like enough to buy 5 or 6 tubes of pogs. hehe.

[Manic Velocity]

Sorry Grim.  You've been had...

http://www.snopes.com/love/dating/frozen.asp

*Ducks from incoming wallabies*

[Anonymous]

lolololol omg .... hahahahahhahahahaha ... ohhhhhhhhh hahahahahaaha

someone sent me that story in an e-mail, just thought i'd share. glad you enjoyed it ^_^

[Anonymous]

Link broken.

[Anonymous]

Do you know what the leading cause of death is among lesbians?

















Hairballs.

[Anonymous]

link worked fine for me ..... try firefox hehe ^_^

[Anonymous]

Interesting... Although I know a lot of girls and all of them would rip their asses off (painfuly) rather than be pee'd on... And... hillarious =) The leading cause of death among gay men is aids... sared, time to get tested.

[Anonymous]

HEY!!

hands off my crew!!! he's been tested, and all he's got is a mild case of rabies. it's okay, he promised not to bite anyone until we can find him some shots ... although we found that rice  soaked in vodka and butter calms him down ...

btw, the carpe diem is under quarantine until further notice. kayda, that means you have to get back in your cage for a while and leave that nemi thing alone .... sorry babe

[Anonymous]

Ooooh pwnt. Sorry sared, didnt know you were already tested.
"Don't forget the rabies, everything tastes better with rabies!"

[Anonymous]

leading cause of death among gay men is aids... sared, time to get tested.

Dude, not cool

[Anonymous]

Chemistry is a harsh mistress. Like the time that I ate a pound of fudge and discovered that choclate is a natural laxative...

[Anonymous]

Fudge.  Dammit you people!  Fudge is toffee!  Fudge is not chocolate!

Sorry, pet hate :p