randomness

[Ketamininja]

Sort of work safe, no dirty horrible pictures or anything at least

[Kosila]

How would that work? The angle would be all wrong for the female, and it would be out of reach for the male!

[Kosila]

Different positions with your computer

I dunno...it still looks inconvenient. They should make an external drive.

EDIT: Am I putting way too much thought into this?

[Fuse]

ok, that second one, not work safe.

Thanks guys.

[Anonymous]

lmao .... i guess someone else here found that site first, it's on our black list! :p

Request blocked and logged by Seneca Townhip High School WebBlocker Controls

[Ketamininja]

The keywords have the F word in it, so schools may well block it automatically.
F***-U-F***-ME.

Its hardware for virtual sex

[Avzeke (Khr0n1k)]

thats some crazy stufff.

[Fuse]

This thread needs to come back.


Predator to Run for Governor in Kansas

TOPEKA, Kan. (DPI) - Following in the footsteps of co-stars Jesse Ventura and Arnold Schwarzenegger, The Predator has announced his candidacy in the November 2006 Kansas gubernatorial election. Pred, as he likes to be called, has cobbled together a coalition of strange bedfellows supporting his campaign, including the NRA and the Green Party. "I am a well-known hunting advocate, and although I don't use rifles per se myself, the NRA supports the sport," said Pred. Green party support, he said, is a calculated political maneuver based on the success of his co-stars, who run under the banner of shrill, spoiler, outsiders, the Reform Party and California Republicans. The Predator's major campaign promise is to do for the image of Kansas what Ventura did for Minnesota and Schwarzenegger for California -- change the nation's perception of the state from "charming but quirky" to "batshit insane."

Todays Headlines!
Motorcade Accident at G8 Summit: Back of Blair's Head, Bush's Cock Injured

"Big Wanda" Calls Dibs On Lil' Kim

G8: "Wooooo! BINGO, baby!"

U.S. Knows Where Osama Is; Right Now, Forces in Iraq "Very Cold"

Intestine Selected to Host Parasite

Florida Sharks Agree: "These Humans Are Tasty"

Space Probe Collides With Comet; "We meant to do that," says NASA.


GM Unveils "Sweet Jesus, You're Fucking Killing Us" Pricing

DETROIT (DPI) - Despite a desperate new promotion in which buyers are able to purchase a new car at the "Employee Discount" price, General Motors has been unable to jump-start auto sales. "When you can't even sell cars at cost, it's pretty fucking sad," said GM's CEO Rick Wagoner. "We have no choice but to move on to Plan B, known as Sweet Jesus, You're Fucking Killing Us pricing. Under this new plan, not only can consumers can buy a brand new car at 30 percent below cost, but they also get a handjob from my wife thrown in as well. And a set of free floor mats." Wagoner also reported that as contingency plans prepared in the event that this new promotion "shits the bed as well," GM executives were busily drawing up plans for Could You Please Lube Up Our Assholes a Little Bit First? pricing and Why Don't You Just Take the Hairs on Our Nutsacks While You're At It? pricing.


Quality of Friend's Sexual Euphemisms Down 65%

COLUMBUS, Ohio (DPI) – Mark Johnson earlier this week reported an alarming decline in the overall quality of long-time friend Paul Tuttle's sexual euphemisms, estimating at least a 65-percent drop in what was once considered Tuttle's comedic monopoly. "In high school he used to be so good at it," said Johnson. "He'd be like, 'I'd like to help HER with her homework' or 'Miss Scarlet can keep ME after class,' but now it seems like he's trying to force it. We were walking by a MILF doing yard work and he elbows me and says, 'I'd like to cultivate HER garden.' You can't just say a sentence with emphasis on the pronoun and have it be automatically funny." Tuttle declined to fully comment on the accusations, saying only, "That intern you have with you is pretty cute. I'd like HER to interview ME ... if you know what I mean."

Jiffy Lube Now Recommends Changing Oil Every Fucking Day

COLUMBUS, Ohio (DPI) - Local Jiffy Lube franchisee Bob Saunders is proud of his company's ability to soak its customers for excessive and unnecessary oil changes. "Because of improvements in both engine design and motor oil quality, virtually every automobile's owner's manual these days recommends changing your oil only every 7,500 miles. In spite of this, we've managed to convince drivers to change their oil at least every 5,000 miles, or every 3,000 if their car is older than the milk in their refrigerator," said Saunders, smiling at the queue of cars wrapped around his garage like a boa constrictor around its prey. "So we figured that if people would fall for that, they'd gobble up daily oil changes hook, line, and sinker." Saunders also announced that Jiffy Lube's new "Weekly Radiator Flush" ad campaign would begin later this month.

[Anonymous]

a kid at work:

"that's one of my fantasies ... to be covered in chocolate licked off my gollum"

[Anonymous]

Wow. Thats just.....wow. I mean.....how would you........why did........but if you.......

*pop*

[Anonymous]

Juuuuust click here and..... here, and you're done.

(Thank you Popbitch as always for the linkage)

[Fuse]

Bag of Chips Good Until DEC 05, Fatso

NEW YORK (DPI) — Snack-maker Frito-Lay announced today that the bag of Ruffles potato chips you bought this morning is freshest if eaten before Dec. 5, 2005, "for Christ's sake." The company, speaking via a small factory stamp on the back of the 12 oz bag, reminds all consumers that they have more than four goddamn months to eat the product, should anyone want to show one shred of self-restraint. "Our snack products are all packaged for maximum freshness preservation. As if it matters," said spokesman Craig Montague. In a similar announcement, Frito-Lay reminded customers to recycle the product's empty bag after the car ride home from the grocery store, lardo.

[Anonymous]

Obi-Wan buys a car.

[Fuse]

[Anonymous]

lmfao .... omg ..... hahahahahahahahhhahhahahahaha

fuse, you make me laugh!!!! ^_^ (guess it was more than just your good looks got you in here ... *winkwink*nudgenudge*)

destyn ... that poor dog looks like it's been through hell and back .... like someone shoved it into a cave for 10 years ....