randomness

[Fuse]

Guy should always pay. Period. dot.

Only exception is if the woman asked the guy out for a date, then each could pay for themselves.

[Manic Velocity]

I always open doors for my lady, and she is always mindful to smile and thank me. It's not something she expects me to do, and she knows she can open her own door if my hands are full. I consider it a sign of respect and I enjoy doing it. It just rubs me the wrong way when a guy has the opportunity to be a gentleman and doesn't take it.

And Lits, I would think that you (women) would want to be treated like a lady at all times, not just on special occasions. Am I wrong in thinking that way?

As for the guy paying for the date, he should at least offer to pay. If the woman prefers to pay her share, the guy should respect that.

[Ash]

You know how I knew I found the right woman to marry.  On our first "movie" date she volunteered to go pay for the popcorn and soda while I bought the tickets.  And we've done it that way ever since.

[Da6onet]

Chivalry nowadays is putting the toilet seat down, not opening doors.

On the notion of who pays, keep in mind if it's only the man paying, it's essentially prostitution/escort service.

[Phienyx]

Every couple should or does have their own understanding on these matters, so one shouldn't be quick to judgement on what we think they should be doing for their woman/or man.  Perhaps some of these men who don't open doors for their women have women who don't really care or don't want that.  Perhaps they have other ways of showing their love, and respect that works just fine for them.

But if you know your woman appreciates that, then by all means, do it for her.

[ArchNemesis]

Yup,

I know me and my girlfriend go halfs on just about everything. Even if we don't eventually we catch up in some form or another, kinda like Yotogi's situation in paying for the tickets and having his wife pay for popcorn and such

Hell, Now that i think we both spend a ASS ton of money on each other.... i spent
$1,800 on a laptop for her birthday.

[Phienyx]

I, personally prefer to pay on dates because I am old fashioned in that respect and I think it is a matter of pride and honor and the desire "take care of" (so to speak) the person I'm on the date with.

  Back in the good ol' days, it wasn't as common for women to work as it was for men.  So a young man courting a young woman had the means to pay for dates more often than the young lady did.  These days, more often than not, a young lady is going to have some means of income, so the original reasoning no longer really applies and is now simply a galant gesture.  Also, in this day and age the ever growing population of gold digger is increasing so one must watch out for that as well.

Ultimately, once again, it is up to the people involved.  I am, however against the woman always paying if the man is capable to paying as well.  That senario just screams "I'm a bitch" on the part of the man.

Sometimes I think we men left a little confused when equallity is always thrown in our faces.  Not that we don't look upon women as less than men, but those of us who are older were taught that men are to do certain things for women.  This, as a show of affection, love, respect and honor.  But we struggle with the idea that if women want to be treated 100% exactly like men in all respects, why should we go out of our way to give them special treatment for any reason?  Why should we open doors for them, or pay for their meals any more than they should do that for us?  Do they really want equality or special treatment?

[Fuse]

Chivalry nowadays is putting the toilet seat down, not opening doors.

On the notion of who pays, keep in mind if it's only the man paying, it's essentially prostitution/escort service.

WHAT?! First of all there's the saying that we all pay for sex, whores are just honest and up front about the price...

But saying that paying money for a dinner with the intention of spending quality time with someone you truely care about is the same as paying money with the intention of sex is the same thing is complately wrong. Under your belief, any kind gesture is payment similar to an escort? BS.

[Da6onet]

WHAT?! First of all there's the saying that we all pay for sex, whores are just honest and up front about the price...

But saying that paying money for a dinner with the intention of spending quality time with someone you truely care about is the same as paying money with the intention of sex is the same thing is complately wrong. Under your belief, any kind gesture is payment similar to an escort? BS.

Didn't mean to upset the romantics, I should put it in context. I'm not referring to committed relationships, I'm talking about dates with people you don't live with/plan on marrying.

When you're first going out with someone, the women have all the power, because unless the guy is a rapist, the woman controls when the sex happens. Often time that can be after you have spent a bundle on food and drinks- $100, $200, or much more if you go out on multiple pre-sex dates. I am bitter because I feel that's really unfair.

For that reason I also feel the best dates are free or at least under $10. A walk in the park with ice cream is more romantic than an expensive dinner/entertainment combo in my opinion.

In an ideal world we'd get the sex out of the way first and then get to know each other, would even the playing field.

[Subb]

I always pay for the first date, I feel guilty otherwise. If I'm lucky enough to get to the second date it's always 50/50, same if I'm in a relationship - I'm not a bank

On a side note - Batman Arkham Asylum rocks (based on the Demo).

[Manic Velocity]

Didn't mean to upset the romantics, I should put it in context. I'm not referring to committed relationships, I'm talking about dates with people you don't live with/plan on marrying.

When you're first going out with someone, the women have all the power, because unless the guy is a rapist, the woman controls when the sex happens. Often time that can be after you have spent a bundle on food and drinks- $100, $200, or much more if you go out on multiple pre-sex dates. I am bitter because I feel that's really unfair.

For that reason I also feel the best dates are free or at least under $10. A walk in the park with ice cream is more romantic than an expensive dinner/entertainment combo in my opinion.

In an ideal world we'd get the sex out of the way first and then get to know each other, would even the playing field.

Sooo... dating without marriage is simply a means to an end (sex), which makes it nothing more than legalized prostitution, so all single women can hold sex over men's heads just so they can get a free dinner?  That's insulting to men and women alike.

Not all guys feign kindness and respect in the hope that it will earn them some pussy.  Some guys, yes, but definitely not all.  And believe it or not, there happen to be a lot of women who actually find sex enjoyable.  They don't just roll their eyes and go through with it to keep a man happy.

Phienyx hit the nail on the head, and I really should have considered it earlier.  A room full of 50 couples will give you 50 different ideas of what "romance" is.  To some couples, it might mean a walk in the park with ice cream.  To other couples, it might mean enacting a rape fantasy.  It all depends on the couple.

[Da6onet]

Phienyx hit the nail on the head, and I really should have considered it earlier.  A room full of 50 couples will give you 50 different ideas of what "romance" is.  To some couples, it might mean a walk in the park with ice cream.  To other couples, it might mean enacting a rape fantasy.  It all depends on the couple.

Fair enough. Though I hope you would agree with me that being in a committed relationship, you see some of the desperation of single people and think "glad I'm not still playing that game."

[Phienyx]

Phienyx hit the nail on the head, and I really should have considered it earlier.  A room full of 50 couples will give you 50 different ideas of what "romance" is.  To some couples, it might mean a walk in the park with ice cream.  To other couples, it might mean enacting a rape fantasy.  It all depends on the couple.

Fair enough. Though I hope you would agree with me that being in a committed relationship, you see some of the desperation of single people and think "glad I'm not still playing that game."

I do see the desperation of which you speak.....and I agree, it is pathetic...humorous at best.

[Tbone]

Phienyx hit the nail on the head, and I really should have considered it earlier.  A room full of 50 couples will give you 50 different ideas of what "romance" is.  To some couples, it might mean a walk in the park with ice cream.  To other couples, it might mean enacting a rape fantasy.  It all depends on the couple.

Fair enough. Though I hope you would agree with me that being in a committed relationship, you see some of the desperation of single people and think "glad I'm not still playing that game."

I do see the desperation of which you speak.....and I agree, it is pathetic...humorous at best.

Guys, I'm sitting right here....I mean, RIGHT HERE. Geez!

[Lits]

Ohhh Tbone *pats head* how much do I love you?
----

I have to agree with Phienyx as well. Good move on the idividuality.

On first dates I really really like a guy who will pay. I will offer to leave the tip, or buy him a drink afterwards (mostly because I like to project a sense of independency and equalness, which I value a lot in a relationship) but I'm totally comfortable letting him refuse. If I'm comfortable with someone (or presumably when I'm married) and I ask HIM to somewhere I like to foot the bill to show that I care enough to treat him to feeling special.

And on the door thing... it's wonderful to be placed on a pedastal, but not all the time. Sometimes I just wanna play poker with the guys and drink beer and talk about football and XBox. The door opening all the time (just to me, not all women) is kind of like saying "you're different, I have to look out for you" and it's not always appropriate to me. (but if I'm in a cocktail dress and heels, I would expect it-- mostly cause it's a bitch to get out of a car in those:) )

So I guess the solution is, find a girl who feels the same way you do about these things and it's a good indicator of how the relationship will go in the long haul.