randomness

[Anonymous]

weve all heard of special K but whatever happened to the regular K, and for that matter, what ever happened to Kay Ballard?

[Anonymous]

hey if you people want some retarded humor, check out this dumbass

http://www.goyk.com/video.asp?path=1432

[Anonymous]

lol im in an internet cafe and i couldn't bring myself to let everyone see scorpion vs butt lol

[Anonymous]

Oh, wow. Another morning with the 'Mark all forums read' button... So if anyone said anything important that I didn't read. Blame the bonehead above me.



No more cocoa puffs with coffee for you, Dink!

[ArchNemesis]

w00t the revival of The DINK!!!

[Anonymous]

"F@%$ you shark!!!!!!"

[Anonymous]

Some things to keep you amused:

How to Impress a Woman:
* Wine her,
* Dine her,
* Call her,
* Hug her,
* Support her,
* Hold her,
* Surprise her
* Compliment her,
* Smile at her,
* Listen to her,
* Laugh with her,
* Cry with her,
* Romance her,
* Encourage her,
* Believe in her,
* Pray with her,
* Pray for her,
* Cuddle with her,
* Shop with her,
* Give her jewelry,
* Buy her flowers,
* Hold her hand,
* Write love letters to her,
* Go to the ends of the earth and back again for her.

How to Impress a Man:
* Show up naked,
* Bring beer and chicken wings,
* Don't block the TV.

(This was meant for humor, as it is not entirely true. Half the things listed in "How to impress a woman" I personally disagree with, but for humor's sake, it's there)

And another:

HELPDESK..
--------------
Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer:  A grey one...
******
Customer: Hi, this is Celine.  I can't get my diskette out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the eject button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good;  I'll make a note .."
Customer: Oh, no ...  wait a minute...  I hadn't inserted it yet.. it's still on my desk...  Sorry...
******
Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
******
Helpdesk:  Hello.  How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello...  I can't print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me!  I'm not Bill Gates!
******
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it...
******
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah..................Thank you.
******
Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.
******
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk:  Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: I don't know.  I can't get behind the computer
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: Okay.
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes.
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.  Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here.  Ah...that one does work!
******
Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, and the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
******
A customer couldn't get on the Internet.
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes I'm sure.  I saw my colleague do it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
******
Helpdesk: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer:  Netscape.
Helpdesk: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
******
Customer: I have a huge problem.  A friend has put a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!
*******
And the winner is...

Helpdesk: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
Customer:  Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

[Anonymous]

*One of my friends had to do an essay on why people are happy. She cracked me up when she presented me with this.*

WHY MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

What do you expect from such simple creatures!?


Your last name stays put.


The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be president.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental -- $100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood, ALL the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.
No wonder men are happier

[Anonymous]

yay for randomness!

[Anonymous]

hedgehogs.....

[Kosila]

Sonic eh?

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

This is really an eye opener.... Water or Coke? We all know that water is important but I've never seen it written down like this before.

WATER
1. 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated.

2. In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often mistaken for hunger.

3. Even MILD dehydration will slow down one's metabolism as much as 3%.

4. One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a University of Washington study.

5. Lack of water, the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.

6. Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers.

7. A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a printed page.

8. Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer.

And now for the properties of COKE:

1. In many states (in the USA) the highway patrol carries two gallons of coke in the truck to remove blood from the highway after a car accident.

2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of coke and it will be gone in two days.

3. To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl and let the "real thing" sit for one hour, then flush clean. The citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous China.

4. To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with a rumpled-up piece of Reynolds Wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola.

5. To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion.

6. To loosen a rusted bolt: Applying a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes.

7. To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan, wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before the ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for a sumptuous brown gravy.

8. To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of coke into a load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle. The Coca-Cola will help loosen grease stains.

9. It will also clean road haze from your windshield.


For Your Info:

1. The active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid. Its pH is 2.8. It will dissolve a nail in about 4 days. Phosphoric acid also leaches calcium from bones and is a major contributor to the rising increase in osteoporosis.

2. To carry Coca-Cola syrup (the concentrate) the commercial truck must use the Hazardous material place cards reserved for Highly corrosive materials.

3. The distributors of coke have been using it to clean the engines of their trucks for about 20 years!


Now the question is, would you like a coke or a glass of water?

[Kosila]

I like to watch in the State of the United States Department of Labor and Industry of North America is not a Christian response to the terms of use and abuse in the news you can do to help you to know about your community’s contribution to the terms of service and long term car insurance quotes online from Jupiter’s known as the world’s longest surfboard!